Underwear + Gun = Anger? That's not the math I took in high school.
My Latest masterpiece came this morning as Julie’s boyfriend came to pick her up for school in the morning. Normally at this point in the day I’ve already showered and had my coffee; I’m on my way out the door. Not today though! I’ve got an old handgun we inherited from my father-in-law, so i got it out, and just sat out on the porch cleaning it in my underwear. When Cole (Julie’s boyfriend) pulled in to the driveway I called him up to the porch. Now keep in mind that I am half naked! As Julie finishes getting ready for the day I begin to lecture Cole on what it means to be a man, all the while polishing away at a gun that might be fully loaded for all he’s concerned. Julie comes downstairs just in time to hear my closing remarks about the similarities between “just laying up to the fairway out of the rough” and “not going all the way on prom night” (both good ideas). Her reaction: “UGH! DAD! I FUCKING HATE YOU! I JUST WISH THAT YOU’D GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE!” They run to the car and pull away.
I finish my mug of coffee at my side, sigh deeply, and think “Fuck this. I’m going to go catch Storm Stories on the Weather Channel”.
April fools.
9 months ago • 0 notes